Going through divorce can be a very hard thing. I am especially fortunate that my ex is a good person and we are amicably working towards a mutually agreeable end. There are still a couple things to work out, but all signs are pointing in the right direction. We have a beautiful and intelligent daughter, who is the priority in both our lives - and that makes all the difference.
One of the best things so far about divorce is that Jackie no longer has to hear me screaming in frustration in her house - and since moving out my frustration levels have dropped tremendously. Unfortunately, she seems to be hearing even more screaming at times from her mother and babushka - I had to witness it tonight and it was heart wrenching. Most of it was in Russian, so I could not understand a lot - but unfortunately for Jackie I think they were taking their frustrations with me out on her. It really hurts me to not be able to do anything to help her in that situation, but I know that they both love her very much and really just want the best for her.
It's taken some time, but I've just recently realized how miserable I've been for some time now. I've been frustrated in so many ways (not just the way you are thinking right now), but am taking positive steps to get happy again. I've got a lot of work ahead of me to improve myself, but for now it feels real good to feel good again.
One of the things that the big D has forced me to do is start really thinking about what I really want out of life - and to realize that I have A LOT of options - and a lot to offer other people. I'm getting closer, but still not to a point where I have it all figured out - guess that never happens for everyone.
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